Teacher to class: What is your number one fear surrounding public speaking?
Student: Assassination.
Universtiy of Colorado
Overheard by: Owl is a hairstyle
Girl: Do you have selective hearing?
Guy: No, I just really like this sandwich.
St. Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Brunette hipster: Who’s Mario Batali?
Blonde hipster: You know, that red-haired chef that looks like he’d smell like ass.
Brunette hipster: Oh, okay. Yeah. Totally.
Toi
Los Angeles, California
Teen girl holding shoe: Can I get this in a…
Ghetto shoe salesman: Dayummm girl, that's an ugly shoe!
Teen girl: Em… Aren't you supposed to be selling this to me?
Ghetto shoe salesman: Yeah, but see, y'alls not a ugly person, I can't let y'all buy an ugly shoe.
Teen girl: Thank you?
Los Angeles, California
Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!
Panera
Howell, New Jersey
Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie…all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!
Mall Restroom
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Monica
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Girl on cell: You mean you need at least thirty minutes? It's only supposed to last ten minutes, that's why it's called a quickie!
UC Irvine
Irvine, California
Teen girl #1: So the guy you’re dating is gay?
Teen girl #2: No he’s not. He isn’t gay! … Well he is a little gay.
Restaurant Patio
California
30-something druggie girl: I know my dad's looking down at me, helping me and shit. That's how I got my handbag back.
30-something druggie guy: Yeah? For fuckin serious?
30-something druggie girl: Yeah! I feel like he's telling me shit sometimes. Sometimes I reckon he wants me to stop taking the pills and the smack, but then I'm like, “Nah, that's just the drugs talking.”
Train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: XPIOTOS
