Harried mom to adorable eight-year-old girl: You just ask a policeman. Next time you see a policeman you ask him, “Is it illegal for me to sleep in my mommy's car?”
Toronto
Canadia
Guy jogging around track with friends: Well, if it's still alive we can't eat it, can we?
Robbinsville High School
New Jersey
Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I'll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It's on that Archimedes' principle shit.
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/390186840/thats-not-safe.html
Overheard by: tara
Tourist lady, as train approaches the end of the line: So how are they going to turn this train around?
Daughter: They don't have to. It can go in either direction.
Tourist lady: Well, are they at least going to turn the seats around?
Subway
Washington, DC
Girl #1: Hey, you wanna grab dinner in a bit?
Girl #2: Sure, want to go to Risley?
Girl #1: Okay, I'm just going to warn you now, though I'm like a reaally slow eater…I only use my front teeth.
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Girl on phone: I mean, do you know how strange it feels to climb out of the bed of the guy you just hooked up with and then climb into bed with your brother?
Chinatown bus from New York City to Baltimore, Maryland
Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can't beat softwood.
Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
