Sober girl: Look, all I'm saying is, I wouldn't fucking mess with her. She's clinically insane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she's really smart. There are those people, you know, that are so smart they're like actually crazy… Real mental, and we just think they're weird, but they're not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do realize that she drew pictures of her friends decapitated, right?
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Were they talking about the same person?
Girl #1, holding up box of Kellogg's frosted flakes and reading: Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: There aren't any directions.
Clark University
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jedusor
Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What's wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sorry?
Woman: Well, is something missing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” business??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it's fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)
Grocery Store
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Matt C
Sorority chick, discussing Shroud of Turin: Jesus was 14 feet tall?
Philosophy of Religion Class, Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said “single.”
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to…
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Nuddles
Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
Loud 20-something girl on cell: What do you mean you made out with my uncle?!
Spokane, Washington
Quiet guy, interrupting conversation: Um, Ben, did you ever listen to Van Halen while you were at school?
Ben: Uh, no.
Quiet guy: Yeah, neither did I.
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Bemused
Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.
High School
North Carolina
