Queer: You should move to Texas. You haven't been there yet.
Chick: Are you kidding? I am in no way hot enough to live in Texas. For one thing, I'd need way bigger boobs.
Queer: Oh, honey. That's what plastic surgery is for!
The Castro
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: lucy
Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.
Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Holly
Bimbette: So, how’d you do on that test?
Man wheeling gigantic yellow fridge down hallway: Oh, pretty crappy.
Bimbette: Oh. Well, see you in class!
Man wheeling gigantic yellow fridge down hallway: Aren’t you even gonna ask why I have a fridge?!
University of Winnipeg
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Bree
Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students’ e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]
Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia
Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment…
Waitress to guy wearing a Soviet hockey jersey: CCCP? Who's that?
Customer: It's the Soviet Union.
Waitress: Oh, are they playing the Caps tonight?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Girl: Do you ever feel like you have a feather in your pants?
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Woman #1: The Democrats were bound to lose the House majority, though… Oh, did you hear about David?
Woman #2: What about him?
Woman #1: Well, he recently came out.
Woman #2: Oh my god! As a Democrat?
University of North Texas
Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!
Open Bar
San Diego, California
20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pookins
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
