Girl to friends: I mean, if you’re talking about who he’s technically going out with, then she’s the girlfriend and I’m the other woman. But, I mean… If you’re talking about who he confides in more, I’m the girlfriend and she’s the other woman.
Dobbs Ferry, New York
Overheard by: Lex
Drunk JAP, yelling at boyfriend: I can't deal with your shit anymore! You don't respect me, you ridicule me in front of my friends. You tell me my dog doesn't deserve to live in a house as big as mine! I don't want to live like this!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jill and Weenie
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails… (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Student
Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: “you know niggas can't read!”
Georgia
Man: My girlfriend doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to get her pregnant.
Ottawa, Canadia
Overheard by: amanda
Guy: Yeah, no, she dumped me.
Friend: Why?
Guy: Dunno, but I think it was ’cause I said her sister was better in bed.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/171640.html
Student #1: Did you end up taking her to SeaWorld or Busch Gardens or something?
Student #2: Naw, man, I told you — she set all my clothes on fire!
Student #1: See, I think that’s kinky.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
Female student #1: But, like, he’s a really good guy, and he’s going to make some girl very happy one day.
Female student #2: Right… But that girl’s just not you.
Female student #1: Exactly! But we might hang out this weekend and, like, have sex or something.
Female student #2: Nothin’ wrong with that.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
