Middle aged woman: Can I get a cheeseburger, without the cheese?
Burger King
Dansville, New York
Middle aged woman: Can I get a cheeseburger, without the cheese?
Burger King
Dansville, New York
20-something girl to friend: Then one day I look around and think: “where did all these penises come from?”
Lee's Diner
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: BoboB
Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.
Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Drunk girl: So she was teaching him Ebonics, and he was teaching her Yiddish…
Parish Cafe
Boston, Massachusetts
Asian tranny, bowing to group of exiting patrons: Thank you, puh-rease come again!
Very femme male waiter, exasperated: Oh, shut up!
Restaurant
San Francisco, California
Woman to friends holding books: I finally told him, “I don't care if your father dies tonight–I am not missing book club!”
Coffee Shop
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: a coffee gal
Woman to friend: What he has started doing now is picking his nose with his toe.
National Coney Island
Royal Oak, Michigan
Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.
Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.
Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana
Girl #1, after hearing embarrassing story: Yeah, that reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Vatican for being a whore.
Girl #2: Seriously? Kicked out?
Girl #1: It was my dad's fault, though. He told me I could wear my short skirt.
Thai Restaurant
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
