At Least I've Stopped Singing the Score to The Mikado

Asian tranny, bowing to group of exiting patrons: Thank you, puh-rease come again!
Very femme male waiter, exasperated: Oh, shut up!

Restaurant
San Francisco, California

Posted on February 13, 2009
Asians, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Guys, Language barrier, Restaurants, San Francisco, Words

Translation: Dad's Not Leaving Us Much

Woman to friends holding books: I finally told him, “I don't care if your father dies tonight–I am not missing book club!”

Coffee Shop
Kenosha, Wisconsin

Overheard by: a coffee gal

Posted on January 31, 2009
Books, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Restaurants, Wisconsin, Women

Does That Mean My Baby Is Gifted?

Woman to friend: What he has started doing now is picking his nose with his toe.

National Coney Island
Royal Oak, Michigan

Posted on January 26, 2009
Body parts, Default, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

…of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on January 22, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, New Hampshire, Old folks, Politics, Restaurants, Women

The Good News Is, the Smell of Poop Makes Me Read

Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.

Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana

Posted on January 22, 2009
Books, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Names, Poop, Questions, Restaurants

Though Dancing on the Altar Was My Idea

Girl #1, after hearing embarrassing story: Yeah, that reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Vatican for being a whore.
Girl #2: Seriously? Kicked out?
Girl #1: It was my dad's fault, though. He told me I could wear my short skirt.

Thai Restaurant
Boone, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on January 22, 2009
Clothes, Default, Family ties, Girls, North Carolina, Questions, Religion, Restaurants

I Told My Dad It Was a Sports Injury. He's Never Been Prouder.

Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!

Starbucks
New Mexico

Posted on January 20, 2009
Body parts, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Health & Hygiene, Masturbation, New Mexico, Restaurants

How You Know It's Time for a Vacation

Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!

Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio