20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!
Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California
20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!
Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California
Bag lady, after no one would give her change: You all have small dicks! Small dicks! Small dicks! Small dicks!
Chinatown Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dan
Enthusiastic little boy, entering restaurant with parents: Smells like snakes in here!
Restaurant
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: pasquinn
30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti!
All Star Cafe
Berkeley, California
American dude: Approximately 90% of the wheat bread in the world is consumed by homosexuals.
Outdoor Cafe
Amsterdam
Netherlands
Overheard by: Ladle
Male suit: Did you know that the most common cosmetic surgery these days is vaginal rejuvenation?
Female suit: “Vaginal rejuvenation,” that's a mouthful.
Starbucks
New York
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
Girl to friend: Then she sends him an e-mail saying that she wants his baby inside her. Talk about mixed messages.
Fred's Diner
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Adam
Four-year-old girl, showing off scrape on arm: I got that on the playground today when Joey pushed me and I fell!
Mom: Joey should keep his hands to himself. Does your teacher tell him that?
Four-year-old girl, like mom is stupid: Moooooom, he's a boy and that's what boys do! They like to push and wrestle and chase girls!
Mom: Um, that may be true, but it still doesn't make it right.
In Line at Starbucks
Bethesda, Maryland
Young daughter to white mother: You fell in love with a Mexican?
White mom: Yes, I did.
Mexican dad: Unfortunately.
El Fenix
Texas
