Restaurants

Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.

Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut

Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!

Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once… Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.

Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil

Bartender: Geez, Hank, you’re looking great these days. Been working out?
Chubby Jewish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I’ve been trying to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my earlobes instead. It’s a cruel world.

Suami’s India Garden Resturant
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Jeebus McGee

Tween boy to another: You seem very gay to me.
Woman with them: That’s not very nice!
Tween boy: What? All I mean is he has a really busy social life.

Moon River Diner
Shanghai
China

Overheard by: MF in China

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why's everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa's a wretched country.

Max's German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle

Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Maggie