I’d Love to See That Resume

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on January 20, 2026
Employees, Euphemisms, Food, Georgia, Guys, Licking, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

Storytelling Is a Lost Art

Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once… Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.

Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil

Posted on January 12, 2026
Beauty, Bimbettes, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Restaurants, Sexuality

Whatever. Starving Children in Nigeria Don’t Even Have Earlobes.

Bartender: Geez, Hank, you’re looking great these days. Been working out?
Chubby Jewish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I’ve been trying to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my earlobes instead. It’s a cruel world.

Suami’s India Garden Resturant
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Jeebus McGee

Posted on November 19, 2025
Bartenders, Body parts, Default, Diet & weight, Fat people, Gripes, Jews, Ohio, Restaurants

And If It Involves Glitter and Castor Oil, That’s His Business

Tween boy to another: You seem very gay to me.
Woman with them: That’s not very nice!
Tween boy: What? All I mean is he has a really busy social life.

Moon River Diner
Shanghai
China

Overheard by: MF in China

Posted on November 13, 2025
China, Default, Guys, Insults, Restaurants, Tweens, Women, Words

We Can't Discuss Literature, But the Sex Is Fantastic

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on July 21, 2023
Age and ageing, Default, Massachusetts, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, Women

If You Have to Tell Her, You’re Doing It Wrong

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on April 23, 2023
Advice, Ass, Backdoor, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Oklahoma, Rednecks, Relationships, Restaurants, Violence

First Of All, There's Hardly Any Literacism There.

Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why's everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa's a wretched country.

Max's German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on February 6, 2023
Default, Geography, Guys, Money, Old folks, Pennsylvania, Questions, Restaurants

I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At

Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Maggie

Posted on February 5, 2023
Beauty, Christianity, Comebacks, Diet & weight, Food, Guys, Holidays, Jesus, Restaurants, Women

90% of the Time, Your Kids Won’t Even Appreciate Your Brilliance

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

Posted on January 19, 2023
Canadia, Dads, Default, Euphemisms, Family, Family ties, Food, Kids, Questions, Restaurants, Words

Like a Sleep Number Sex Toy?

Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!

City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: entertained witness

Posted on December 30, 2022
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Guys, Jobs & Careers, New Jersey, Restaurants, Toys, Women

Restaurants