Bartender: Geez, Hank, you’re looking great these days. Been working out?
Chubby Jewish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I’ve been trying to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my earlobes instead. It’s a cruel world.
Suami’s India Garden Resturant
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jeebus McGee
Tween boy to another: You seem very gay to me.
Woman with them: That’s not very nice!
Tween boy: What? All I mean is he has a really busy social life.
Moon River Diner
Shanghai
China
Overheard by: MF in China
Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.
Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!
Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma
Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why's everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa's a wretched country.
Max's German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Chikara
Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!
City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: entertained witness
Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.
Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.”
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.
Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
