Restaurants

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!

City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: entertained witness

Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.

Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Bardley

Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.”
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.

Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Hunter (aka

Middle-aged woman to another: I said, “Let’s go to church,” and she said, “No, I’m going to stay in bed with Jesus today.”

Outside Mexican restaurant
Hammond, Louisiana

Overheard by: Booksie in Bumfuck

Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.

Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara

Middle-aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!

Dunkin’ Donuts
University of Rhode Island

60-something guy, earnestly, to table full of seemingly level-headed adults: They're going to turn the moon into a weapon, the most powerful weapon ever…

Restaurant
Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: mini-me

Serious biker: Virgins are great! You can use them as currency.

Blowfish Sushi
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: tangotravellers

College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.

Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia