Youngish girl to pair of friends: My vagina is ruined after last night.
Melbourne
Australia
Teenage girl #1, explaining Shakespeare to friend: So, basically, Romeo is, like, a man whore. As soon as he knows some chick won't have sex with him he gets all pissy and emo and goes after someone else.
Teenage girl #2: So, like, he just wants to make babies? Man, I always thought it was more romantic!
Teenage girl #1: Nope. He just wants to hop into bed with whoever's available.
Birmingham, Alabama
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.
Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Male student: We were learning about harmanfadites in my psych class today.
Female student: What's that?
Male student It's when a person is born with boy and girl parts.
Female student: Nasty.
Male student: Yeah. I was wondering, if two of them have sex, are they both gay? Or lesbians?
Female student: I can't talk about this while I am eating.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Jonson
Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
Crazy man to woman walking to her car: Sir! Sir! There is evidence here that there has been sexual activity in this area!
Woman: (silence)
Crazy man (under breath): Lazy pig.
Parking Garage
Tucson, Arizona
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn’t even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html
Overheard by: also not surprised
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
