Sexuality

Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.

Filene's Basement
Washington, DC

Gay man, pensively: I bet vaginas make excellent hand-warmers.

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Girl #1: You can’t just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!

Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: isa

Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk…
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom…

University of Virginia

Skinny emo guy to emo girl: The only way I'm going to see him naked is if I picture it in my head. Oh, god damn it! I just saw it!

Missouri State University

Overheard by: Matt

Girl to friend: But yeah, my uterus sucks. I wish I just had a vagina and it ended there. But I do love my pancreas!

University of Arizona

Curly-haired brunette: So how many sex partners did you say you'd had?
Straight-haired brunette: I think I said ten.
Curly-haired brunette: That's cool.
Straight-haired brunette: Ten in the past year, I mean. Obviously.
Curly-haired brunette, laughing: Obviously! I've seen you having sex with more people than that.

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogs McNasty

Guy: Wait, Langston Hughes was gay? Damn, now I gotta take him off my Facebook.

Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas

Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can’t fuck’em, what’s the point?

Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?