Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Woman on street: Dicks are overrated!
Brunswick Street
Fitzroy
Australia
Girl: Seriously, she’s completely obsessed. Like all of her final drawings were of his penis. Like all of them.
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Abbie
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Male professor: I’m sorry, I just can’t sing “Some boys kiss me”. I know that’s desperately heteronormative, but I can’t help it!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There’s like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don’t know about you
Girl #1: Nobody ever sits on it and I don’t blame them.
Girl #2: You call it the sex couch, that’s why.
Girl #1: I Febreze it!
Girl #2: And then you say that!
Brighton, Massachusetts
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
MIT frat boy #1: I’m just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um… Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
