Scruffy guy: Shit, I'd suck dick for money. I've always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.

Gainesville, Florida

12-year-old boy #1: I wouldn’t like to have two lesbian moms.
12-year-old boy #2: Why not?
12-year-old boy #1: Because they would be, like, overactive.
12-year-old boy #3: You’re totally right!

Mabo Secondary School

Chick: Gay is not an ethnicity! I don't care if they have their own mafia!

Outside Central Library
Calgary, Alberta

Dude #1: Dude, if you're gonna artificially inseminate your sister's girlfriend, you gotta fuck her, right?
Dude #2: Absolutely!
Dude #1: Otherwise, you got no respect for yourself.

Overheard by: elizabeth

Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!

Simi Valley, California

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he's like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I'm Jewish

Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don't worry, we have Katie!

Los Angeles, California

Teen girl on cell: Cuz you're not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They're funny.

Overheard by: um…

Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.

Simon Fraser University
British Columbia

Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: TMI