Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store!
Victoria’s Secret
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store!
Victoria’s Secret
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that's not a huge Freudian slip, I don't know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!
Culpeper, Virginia
Overheard by: freudian follower
Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Really skinny sorority girl: I paid my rent and then I spent the rest, $700, on this new Louis Vuitton (squeals and hugs the purse). But now I have 30 bucks to last a whole month. Looks like I'll be dating for dinner or eating crackers.
Sorority friend: You spent twice as much on your bag as you did your rent! At least you paid your rent on time! Don't worry, you'll find dates. That purse is totally worth it!
Really skinny sorority girl: I know, right, I should just live in my purse. I think that is why married women get fat: they can finally afford to eat. You know my ass is getting fat when I get married.
IHOP
Dallas, Texas
Plus-size girl looking at maternity shirt: Oh, this is cute! (pause) It will hide my fat rolls!
JC Penney
Wichita, Kansas
Little girl reading plastic bag: “Value village.” Value village? Do you know what that is?
Mother: It's a store.
Little girl: It just makes me so happy.
Toronto
Canadia
16-year-old female lifeguard: Hey, I’m running to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee… Anyone want anything?
14-year-old male lifeguard: Yeah, can I get some watermelon Bubble Yum and… [lowers voice and looks around suspiciously] … some condoms?
16-year-old female lifeguard: Um…
Vienna, Virginia
