Claire Was Significantly Less Thrilled with the “Mysteries Solved by Cats” Section

Emo girl to emo friend: They have a whole Harry Potter section…I love the world!

Borders
Manalapan, New Jersey

Posted on September 6, 2008
Books, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Happiness, New Jersey, Stores

At This Point in His Life, Pinocchio Needs Serious Work

Girl #1: He's kind of ugly.
Girl #2: He kind of reminds me of a marionette because his cheeks are shiny and puffed up all the time.

Black Market Vintage Clothing
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: kj

Posted on September 4, 2008
Body parts, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Stores

You Sure You Need a Rocket Launcher?

White trash guy to wife at gun counter: I don't know, honey, that might be too big to conceal.

Academy Sports
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: We're not in Michigan Anymore

Posted on September 1, 2008
Advice, Default, Guys, Shopping, Stores, Stupidity, Texas, Violence

And I Speak From Experience

Guy: I wonder why they don't make “ribbed for her pleasure” Magnums.
Girl: Because if your shit's that big to need a Magnum, it's already her pleasure.

CVS
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on August 30, 2008
Condoms, Default, Georgia, Girls, Guys, Penis, Stores

“Just Got Tubes Tied”?

Girl, holding up white lacey underwear with text across the ass: “Just married”? Shit, they should make a version that says “just divorced.”

Victoria's Secret
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McFreaky

Posted on August 29, 2008
Default, Girls, Relationships, San Francisco, Stores, Undies

Portrait of the Runway Coach As a Young Boy

Seven-year-old boy to small sister at counter: Get out of the line! You on the line and I'm exquisite. I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite!

H&M
Washington, DC

Posted on August 25, 2008
Bragging, Default, Kids, Offers and requests, Stores, Washington, DC

The Store Really Shouldn't Stock Them in the Produce Department

(kids looking at strawberry flavored condoms)
Kid #1: Strawberries!
Kid #2: No, they're strawberry balloons.
Kid #3 (shocked): No, they're condoms!
All 3 kids: Arrghhh.

Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia

Posted on August 11, 2008
Australia, Condoms, Default, Fruit, Kids, Stores

So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe

Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)

Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana

Posted on July 30, 2008
Books, Christianity, Default, History, Indiana, Questions, Stores, Stupidity, Women

All the Good Books Are Made Into Movies, Anyway

Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.

Target
Voorhees, New Jersey

Overheard by: deno

Posted on July 29, 2008
Books, Default, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Stores, Teens, Wishes

It’s Oprah, Honey

Harried mom: Get off the stage now! It’s time to go!
Obstinate toddler: No!
Harried mom: Who’s the boss of you?
Obstinate toddler: …you.
Harried mom: And who’s the boss of me?
Obstinate toddler: Daddy!
Harried mom: No!

Barnes & Noble
Plantation, Florida

Overheard by: That Bookseller Chick

Posted on July 18, 2008
Default, Family ties, Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Should have used a condom, Stores

Stores