Students

Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!

Potomac, Maryland

Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…

Guy in sociology class: So male and female… Are those races?

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: doug

College chick: I, like, physically cannot get good grades… I think the problem is in my brain.

University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: KAT

Student #1: Did you end up taking her to SeaWorld or Busch Gardens or something?
Student #2: Naw, man, I told you — she set all my clothes on fire!
Student #1: See, I think that’s kinky.

Michigan State University
Michigan

Female student #1: But, like, he’s a really good guy, and he’s going to make some girl very happy one day.
Female student #2: Right… But that girl’s just not you.
Female student #1: Exactly! But we might hang out this weekend and, like, have sex or something.
Female student #2: Nothin’ wrong with that.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!

Auburn, Alabama

Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.

Math Classroom
Hawaii

Professor: We are going to talk about tea rooms. Which involve no tea. Unless by “tea,” you mean “cock.”

Columbus,Ohio

Overheard by: Em

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Chemistry professor to student who recognized a sketch of the periodic table on whiteboard: You understand my art.
Student: I feel you, Mr K.
Chemistry professor: That is indeed true.

St Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: MAC