Translation: That's Lazy Screenwriting

Student: This morning I watched Walker, Texas Ranger. They're always going around talking to Native Americans.
Professor: That's good.

Decorah, Iowa

Posted on June 11, 2015
Iowa, Language barrier, Race, Students, Teachers, TV shows

Those Of You Too Ugly to Complete This Assignment May Write an Essay Instead

Professor to students: You need go out and have a lot of sex.

Seattle University, Washington

Posted on June 8, 2015
Advice, Education, Sex, Students, Teachers, Washington

Dude, You’re the Worst Beggar Ever

Student: So, basically I’ve come to beg for my life.
Professor: Go on.
Student: So, I need this class to graduate, right? But I know I’m failing. The problem is I’m taking too many credit hours and stopped coming to class, but this guy that I know who was taking notes for me and whatever — he stopped coming to class because he says he can’t stand to listen to you drone on and on. But don’t worry, it’s not like I don’t like psychology or anything — I love deviant psychology. So can I get extra credit or something?
Professor: Oh, Lord, no.

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: JP

Posted on June 8, 2015
Education, Ohio, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

I Mean, I've Got Room

College girl, yelling at friend: I mean, I hooked up with everyone in Sigma Nu before I was dating him! Why wouldn't I keep hooking up with everyone in Sigma Nu now?

Starbucks
Los Angeles, California

Posted on June 7, 2015
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, Students

Anyway, Aliens Share a Hive Consciousness and Can't Die

Sophomore #1, during heated debate about zombie safety: Wait! What if there were alien zombies?
Sophomore #2: Shut up! We're talking about realistic stuff, here!

Theatre Class, Rossview High
Clarksville, Tennessee

Posted on June 7, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Offers and requests, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Tennessee, Zombies

Now Can We Teach Kids about STDs in High School?

Tall brunette: … And so I said I didn’t want herpes, but he was like, ‘Oh, they’re no big deal.’
Short blonde: Well, did you sleep with him?
Tall brunette: Of course I did. Like he said, herpes are no big deal. Just a little itching and stuff… Besides, it’s not like I can ever get them again. It’s like chicken pox — once you get it, you don’t get it again.
Math major nearby, yelling: Do you mind taking your dumb, STD-having ass somewhere I’m not trying to eat?! [Other students cheer.]

Bentley Dining Hall, Lock Haven University
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alexander Lepro

Posted on June 5, 2015
Bimbettes, Pennsylvania, STDs, Students, Stupidity

Though, to Be Fair, the Bicycle Had No Bell.

Girl #1: My grandfather has won the Nobel Prize!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, he has one of those trophies in his bookshelf!
Janitor, walking in: Are you sure it was the Nobel Prize?
Girl #1: Yes, I am! Don't you believe me? I'm gonna call him and ask! (proceeds to call, hangs up sounding disappointed)
Janitor: Well?
Girl #1: Oh, it was not the Nobel Prize. It was only from a bicycle race.

High School
Sweden

Overheard by: Malin

Posted on June 5, 2015
Bragging, Family ties, Old folks, On the phone, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Sweden, Teachers

Life Was Better When Knowledge Was the Province Of Those Who Could Lie About It

Biology professor: Hey, didn’t they discover that process in corals?
Grad student: No, they discovered that in plants.
Biology professor: That’s what I just said!
Grad student: But coral is not a plant.
Biology professor: What? Yes, it is!
Grad student: No, it’s not, it’s an animal!
Biology professor: Since when?
Grad student: Since always — go look it up!
Biology professor, after disappearing for five minutes: Fucking Wikipedia…

3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How’d you get this job, anyway?