Stupidity

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

Mother to small boy: No, it's a courgette, dear. You can't light a fire with courgettes.

Sainsbury's Supermarket
Cardiff
Wales

Overheard by: Gordinho

Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]

High School
Austin, Texas

Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.

Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia

Overheard by: Pat Trenner

Dude #1: Hey, man, call someone and see if you can get us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, pausing: … No, you need to make some calls and see if you can get someone to give us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, after longer pause: Dude, are you hungry?
Dude #2: No… I could use some food, though.

Bay Area Rapid Transit District, California

Drunk Canadian to another: I don't get it–every time we drink in the car, something bad happens.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: christine

Michael Stipe to crowd: This next song is set in the state of Ohio.
Drunk dude: Go Chicago, woooooo!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Geographically Inclined

Drunk gamer #1, about Warhawk: Those Japanese were amazing!
Drunk gamer #2: But you know, in Japan there's so many people, and so much time.

Boulder, Colorado

Girl: Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, she was blind, deaf, and something else…
Guy: Dumb?
Girl: No, she was quite intelligent actually, but I think she could smell.

Corvallis, Oregon

Guy: You do realize what you just did, right? You tied a Holocaust paper to Pokemon.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/04/02/breaking-news-international-war-tribunal-rejects-pikachus-defense-of-i-was-only-following-orders/

Overheard by: rvc