Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no…I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
Mother (giving four-year-old a children’s bible): Here, find Jesus for mommy.
Doctor’s Office
Ashland, Kentucky
Overheard by: Lola
20-something guy in the middle of a group: Guys, guys. I've got big news.
(group quiets down)
20-something guy: I just got a text from Ross. It says “Let's put it this way: they've stopped the ride, are cleaning up my vomit, and I'm leaving in a wheelchair. Spaceship Earth.”
(group cheers)
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Man in line: They should build a tunnel over the Elizabeth River.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Dreamer: I always wanted to be in the little pokey-outy thing on top of a caboose.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/man-with-simple-dreams.html
Overheard by: mk
Young woman: Then I read that conversation with… Oh, brain fart… You know, that news anchor? Anyway, that's when I decided unsweetened coffee was the mark of the usurper.
Hampton Bays
New York
16-year-old student: Ah, those were the days… people talked on the phone, and phones got phone calls…
High School
Binghamton, New York
Effeminate boy #1: And he said “my penis is so big I can't control it.”
Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really?
Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology.
Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see.
Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says “it's not long enough go down.” I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word “pee” comes from. Mmhmm.
Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh!
Friendship Heights
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Overtired mom, after seeing infant fail to grasp something: See? Their reflexes suck. That’s why babies don’t drive cars.
Stunned husband: Uh, that and they can’t see over the steering wheel.
Wellsboro, Pennsylvania
