Stupidity

Band geek, eating lunch, to friends: I've come to the realization that if I were a woman, I'd have amazing breasts.

Rutgers University
Camden, New Jersey

Overheard by: One time at band camp…

Cafeteria kid: Acting would be really boring if we were all giant slugs.

High School Cafeteria
Victoria, B.C.
Canadia

Overheard by: Sefie

Would-be pilosopher: So I've come to the realization that, sadly, my body requires food in order to function…I don't live to eat, I eat to live.
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, that is so true, very deep!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: sarah

Bro #1: What a douchebag move!
Bro #2: Seriously. He glued it to the car. He could have just taped it!

Suburbia, Maryland

Young woman with cute hair to friends: I like to run through the field and play with my hair!

Lakeside Park
Chicago, Illinois

Man: You know the black guy from Transformers? You know who I'm talking about?
Woman: Megan Fox?
Man: Yeah.

Holland, Michigan

Gay guy to another: Yeah, cuz there's nothing like listening to Americans talk about their feelings to let you know what's really going on in the world.

Starbucks
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

(goth girl walks by two high school girls)
Girl #1: What is that?!
Girl #2: She's a goth.
Girl #1: Whats a goth?
Girl #2: You know, people who wear black and lots of makeup and listen to sad music.
Girl #1: Ohhhh, that's what they're called. I just call them people who need Jesus.

Albany, New York

Smoker girl: How did you get that scrape on your arm?
Inked boy: Well, TJ picked me up in the parking lot the other night after the club, like literally, picked me up and carried me over to Halfbreed, and threw me to him, but Halfbreed didn't know what was going on and so we both fell over.
Smoker girl: Ouch.
Inked boy: So apparently, all it takes to knock him down is a hundred-thirty-five pound Italian projectile surprise.
Smoker girl: Do you stay awake at night thinking of these little quips? Or do they just come to you in moments of genius?
Inked boy: No, I thought of it that night. I've just been waiting to use it.

Providence, Rhode Island

Drunk man outside curry restaurant, face down on pavement, screaming: I've shit myself! I've shit myself! I've shit myself!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep