Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Young child in line for ferris wheel: Mom, what does ‘Four RPM’ mean?
Mom: Four miles per hour.
Six Flags Amusement Park
Western Massachusetts
Sorority girl, crying: I’ve been working so hard, and I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for it.
Professor: What? What do you mean?
Sorority girl, still crying: I mean, if I work so hard, I’ll just die if I don’t get an A.
Professor, irritated: Well, it’s only four weeks into the semester. Why are you worried about your grade now? I don’t guarantee any grades! [Professor leaves.]Sorority girl, to friend: Damn. I should have saved the tears until at least midterm. Now I’ll actually have to do the work. Damn.
University of Nevada, Las Vegas
Nevada
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me…
Norman, Oklahoma
Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karl
Professor: I have no idea how we got onto this discussion, class. Does anyone know what we're supposed to be talking about?
Class: (silence, then soft giggles from back of the room)
Professor: Well, we accomplished nothing today. But it's okay!, 'cause (raises his voice in excitement) I had fun!
Richland Center, Wisconsin
Overheard by: CollegeIsn'tSoBad
Girlfriend pointing at guy in kilt: Look, he’s wearing a skirt! What a freak!
Boyfriend, releasing her hand: That’s a kilt. I’m Scottish. Fuck you!
Tacoma, Washington
Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.
Washington, DC
Student #1: I have to go to class.
Student #2: Which one?
Student #1: Quantum physics.
Student #2: Is that where you go back in time to set right what once went wrong?
Georgia Southern University
Overheard by: Sydney
