Stupidity

Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?

High School
Boiceville, New York

Overheard by: Toasted

Girl on cell: At least I never got kicked off of Facebook!

UCLA
California

Overheard by: what…?

Girlfriend: I have a great idea for an alternative energy source!
Frustrated boyfriend: You’d better not say ‘the sun’…
Girlfriend, after a pause: Oh…

UC Davis
California

Overheard by: student on the bus

Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.

Dulles Airport
Washington, DC

Young child in line for ferris wheel: Mom, what does ‘Four RPM’ mean?
Mom: Four miles per hour.

Six Flags Amusement Park
Western Massachusetts

Sweaty girl to friend, watching elliptical machine read 75 rpm: So does this mean I'm going 75 miles per hour?

Gym
Dallas, Texas

Sorority girl, crying: I’ve been working so hard, and I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for it.
Professor: What? What do you mean?
Sorority girl, still crying: I mean, if I work so hard, I’ll just die if I don’t get an A.
Professor, irritated: Well, it’s only four weeks into the semester. Why are you worried about your grade now? I don’t guarantee any grades! [Professor leaves.]Sorority girl, to friend: Damn. I should have saved the tears until at least midterm. Now I’ll actually have to do the work. Damn.

University of Nevada, Las Vegas
Nevada

Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me…

Norman, Oklahoma

Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl