Teacher: What word do you think would fit there?
Student: Uh… “clusterfuck”?
Denver, Colorado
Quirky lesbian professor leading class in Kegel exercises: And everybody squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy Indian, after shiver spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky lesbian professor: It's great, right!
Health Ed Class
Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh at all the serious faces trying to hide these private exercises
College student: That one answer is wrong. You put a nine instead of a six.
Professor: I was probably stoned at the time.
Sussex, New Jersey
Physics professor: Where are all the physicists? Eh, we're all cab drivers, drug addicts and musicians.
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Professor, about megafauna: I would love to have a giant beaver.
GWU Archaeology lecture
Washington, DC
Teacher: Are you guys understanding this?
Class: [Stares blankly.]Teacher: It feels like I’m taking my clothes off.
Class: What?
Teacher: I meant that this is disturbing.
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Professor: I want to please you… Not with goats, but with sentences.
Greek Class
UCLA, California
Overheard by: shepherd
Happy teacher: Welcome to creative writing class. This class is like us taking a hot bath. Together. With candles.
Harpeth Hall School
Nashville, Tennessee
Student: I bet half of the kids are still going to show up at the computer room.
Teacher: You think half of them will, or half of them won’t?
East Meadow Drive
Palo Alto, California
Lecturer: If I’d given you gin instead of phonology, no doubt you’d all be sitting closer together.
Manchester University
UK
Overheard by: Ferdinand
