Teens

18-year-old guy to friend: If I liked kids, I would be celebrating mass at a Catholic church.

Mexico City
Mexico

Overheard by: Kafnut

Ditzy blond: How many girls have you seen down there!
Ditzy guy with ditzy blond: Tons! Like, so many! (pause) Oh, okay! Fine! Six.

Great American Ball Park
Cincinnati, Ohio

Teen twink: It was so hard to follow, and then he ate the ferret…

St. Michaels High School
Maryland

Overheard by: MarionC

Teen girl #1: You know, I wish we had some sort of pregnancy switch that we can turn on and off at will. That way, when we have one night stands, we can just turn 'em off, and, voila! No baby!
Teen girl #2: We do. They're called diagrams.
Teen girl #3: You mean “diaphragms.”
Teen girl #2: Whatever.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Leila

Teen girl: They've broken up three times, and it never goes well for me.

Studio City, California

Overheard by: Urz

Teen girl to friend: We could be like the next Hitler, but cooler!
Friend: Oooh, awesome!

Toronto
Canadia

Teenage boy to friend: Oh, damn, my skin's turning purple again!
Friend: Your skin's turning purple again?
Teenage boy: Yeah!
Friend: Oh, damn!

Charleston, South Carolina

Teenage boy to school friend: Dude, why would you buy a pocket vagina and not use it?

High School
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Murray

Teenage boy, about princess Diana: Dude, she was like Mother Teresa, just with better tits!

Palm Harbor
Florida

Overheard by: Jedtheavenger

Teenage girl to another: You know what I really hate? When your balls sweat.

Glenfield College
Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly