Man to himself: I will never be able to satisfy a woman because my penis is mounted to low on my body. Damn German genes!
Dallas, Texas
Man to himself: I will never be able to satisfy a woman because my penis is mounted to low on my body. Damn German genes!
Dallas, Texas
Lesbo on cell: What part of ‘You’re a dirty whore I wish I’d never fucked’ do you not understand?!
Austin, Texas
Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.
Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Professor: You’d have to be quite clever to make people care about Polish sausages.
Texas Woman’s University
Denton, Texas
Drunk coed: Is it possible to drown in a pool when you are drunk? I mean, with all that alcohol wouldn’t you just float to the top?
Friend #1: Um, duh — yeah, you can drown.
Friend #2: You’re probably going to drown.
Frat party
Dallas, Texas
Little girl singing in restroom stall: I’m a little lady, I’m a little lady, I’m a little lady.
401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Athens
Guy: It's great because it's like we're bros, and we hang out, but I also get to look at your tits.
Girl: Yeah! (high five)
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Ben
Teacher: What is life really about?
Student #1: Cars!
Student #2: Love!
Student #3: Money!
Teacher: Why hasn't anyone said “sex” yet?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Irot
