Texas

High school girl #1: I'm so glad I only have one baby daddy. I feel sorry for those girls with more than one! You've gotta figure out who has money and who doesn't.
High school girl #2: That is so true!

Grocery Store
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Just doing my grocery shopping

Preppy guy #1: “Pangaea,” like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

(in the ladies' restroom, after seeing camera flash from inside a stall)
Angry blonde in line: Oh, come on! There's a whole line of people out here who have to pee, and you twits are in there taking fucking pictures for your damn MySpace pages.
Two girls in one stall: We're just peeing.
Angry blonde, to no one in particular: Who the hell takes pictures of themselves on the damn toilet anyway? I can just see the caption on that one… “Night at Zen, usin' the potty.” Jeez!
(the two girls come out of the stall, obviously offended…in full 80s garb).
Angry blonde: Bwaaahhhaaaaa hhhaaaa hhhaaaa, (deadpan) Fucking losers!

Zen Night Club
Addison, Texas

Overheard by: If she hadn't said it, I would have

Girl #1: I need a new guy. That's not fair! He was able to recuperate real fast.
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, he had a girlfriend.

Texas

Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!

College Station, Texas

Waiter: I think it would be cool to live on the moon…
Waitress: Yeah, I don't think I could do that. I'm afraid of heights.

Texas City, Texas

Overheard by: TurboCat

Trendy girl: Yeah, so like, the mom and her daughter went and got abortions together.

Town Center
Sugar Land, TX

Man #1: Hi! How are you?
Man #2 (excited): Great! I'm going through a divorce!
Man #1: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Man #2 (still excited): Yeah! My wife was with another man!

The Woodlands, Texas

Overheard by: ….what?

Professor to class (during tasting session): Anybody getting any wood on this one?

Wine Appreciation 101
University of Houston, Texas

White trash guy to wife at gun counter: I don't know, honey, that might be too big to conceal.

Academy Sports
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: We're not in Michigan Anymore