Like the Holocaust

Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.

Point Comfort, Texas

Posted on March 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Names, People, Texas, Weirdness

A Lot Of Austin Guys Ride Sidesaddle

Man: I really hope I can suck something out of the horse later.

DMV
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: auroratudor

Posted on February 20, 2009
Animals, Default, Guys, Texas, Weirdness, Wishes

In Other News, I've Graded You on a Scale from “Green” to “Unicorns”

Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.

Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas

Posted on January 27, 2009
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Teachers, Texas

Like the Dirty Little Republican You Are

(attractive couple are making out against a car. The girl's phone goes off.).
Girl: Hello? Hey, mom. No, I'm still at school. Rehearsal's going to be late today. Yeah, I'll call you. Bye!
Guy: I love when you lie.

Houston, Texas

Posted on January 19, 2009
Couples, Default, Education, Family ties, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Lies, Texas

Some Sermons Are More Uplifting Than Others

Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober…and whiny!

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on January 11, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Texas

Which Is Exactly What Jesus Would Do

Girl to two friends: Well, he was okay because he could still introduce himself, could still make out with her, and could still pop a boner.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on January 8, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Sexuality, Texas

Boys: I'm Keeping It in My Pants Now, Thanks Anyway

High school girl #1: I'm so glad I only have one baby daddy. I feel sorry for those girls with more than one! You've gotta figure out who has money and who doesn't.
High school girl #2: That is so true!

Grocery Store
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Just doing my grocery shopping

Posted on November 26, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Money, Relationships, Stores, Teens, Texas

…In Unrelated News

Preppy guy #1: “Pangaea,” like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

Posted on November 24, 2008
Beauty, Default, Family ties, Geography, Guys, Preppies, Questions, Stores, Texas, Weirdness, Words

A Woman With a Full Bladder Stops Believing in Multitasking

(in the ladies' restroom, after seeing camera flash from inside a stall)
Angry blonde in line: Oh, come on! There's a whole line of people out here who have to pee, and you twits are in there taking fucking pictures for your damn MySpace pages.
Two girls in one stall: We're just peeing.
Angry blonde, to no one in particular: Who the hell takes pictures of themselves on the damn toilet anyway? I can just see the caption on that one… “Night at Zen, usin' the potty.” Jeez!
(the two girls come out of the stall, obviously offended…in full 80s garb).
Angry blonde: Bwaaahhhaaaaa hhhaaaa hhhaaaa, (deadpan) Fucking losers!

Zen Night Club
Addison, Texas

Overheard by: If she hadn't said it, I would have

Posted on October 30, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, Insults, Pee, Questions, Stupidity, Texas, Women

And a Wife

Girl #1: I need a new guy. That's not fair! He was able to recuperate real fast.
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, he had a girlfriend.

Texas

Posted on October 29, 2008
Default, Girls, Relationships, Sexuality, Texas, Wishes