Aboriginal hobo: There is a nice cave outside of Kings Park. Only problem is there's some old guy livin' in it, he's been livin' there for at least 20 years… I'm just waiting for him to die already so I can move in.
Train
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Dylann
Girl on cell: And I'm like “If you get to fuck me in the ass, then I get to fuck you!” Yeah, except then he's like, “Okay, sweet!” and I'm like, “Shit, that backfired.”
University LRT Station
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: thrilled commuter
Conductor (at tube stop before Finchley Road station): This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. I repeat, this train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (train pulls into Finchley Road, slows down and stops) This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (pause) I'm aware that we've actually stopped at Finchley Road, but we will not be stopping at Finchley Road.
Jubilee Underground Line
London
England
Overheard by: Tom
Awkward girl: Are you an organ donor?
Uninterested guy: No.
Awkward girl: You should donate your skin. It's nice. Non-cancerous.
Uninterested guy: I'm good.
Awkward girl: Oh. So what's up with guys always having to spread their seed?
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Grace
Woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I ate an entire bag of salad last night for dinner. Um…it was like three servings. Okay, call me later.
Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Patrick
Posh old lady: Well, everyone else said that daddy shot himself, but I still contend that he fell on his gun when he was cleaning it…
Tube, London
England
Overheard by: Wendy Stephens
Girl to friends (while reading horoscope page): I guess it means that, as an Aries, I should just embrace the fact that I'm better than people! (pause) Well, not better, just cooler.
Metro Red Line
Washington, DC
Overheard by: felonaz
Conductor: Stamford, Stamford stop is…ooh, did you see those two baby reindeer?!
MetroNorth Train
Stamford, Connecticut
Guy: I saw Mark yesterday.
Girl: Oh my gawd! We haven't seen him, like, since the nightclub last year.
Guy: I'm surprised you remember that night.
Girl: Yeah, good thing you are strong enough to carry me.
Guy: Good thing you were wearing underwear.
Girl: Barely.
Guy: That's my girl.
TTC Subway
Toronto
Canadia
Hipster girl: I wasn't invited to the wedding but maybe I'll go anyway. I could be your date. Who knows, maybe you'll even score.
Guy: Shit, all I have to do is give you two vodka sodas and point you to a pool and I'll score. Easy.
Hipster girl: One time that happened. One time.
Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia
