Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren't really grabbing her boobs. That's just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro

Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don't want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we'd be done for.

Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.


Overheard by: kat

Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?

Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Ballet girl: Do you know how much our feet are worth?!

West Leederville Train Station
Western Australia

Overheard by: Rose

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…

Train Leaving Brighton

Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point

Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.

Atlanta, Georgia

Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.


Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man