Train guy: I just got in last night from Denver.
Train girl: Oh yeah? What part?
Train guy: Colorado.

South Shore Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Chubi

Boyfriend: Ow! Stop twisting my mole.
Girlfriend, singing quietly to herself: Looking for rub in all the wrong places.

MAX Train
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Amy Achterman

Woman: The Italian mafia are making me conduct the trains!

Subway Station

Overheard by: Meech

40-something suit to another: I should go see Santa, but I'm a couple decades too late. (pause) And if you go without a kid, they think you're weird or something.

LIRR Train Station
New York

Overheard by: BK

Guy trying to impress girl: So then I mastered a few languages, and after that it was pretty easy to get hired.
Girl: Oh wow! What languages?
Guy: C++.

Yellow Line Train
Washington, DC

Girl #1: So I unplugged the phone before I left, so the school can't call my mom to say I'm not at school.
Girl #2: Oh, that's pretty smart.
Girl #1: I also took my dad's credit card.

Chicago, Illinois

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

High school freshman #1: Sometimes I wish I didn't live somewhere so industrialized. Why can't I live somewhere where people are hunters and gatherers?
High school freshman #2: I know, we waste so much time in school getting an “education.” I could learn so much more out in the world.
High school freshman #1: Yeah, and I don't understand why people go to work and shit.

Train Station
Chicago, Illinois

Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, “I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here.” He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.

Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jim

Lady on loudspeaker: The train on platform 3 is going to Edgeware Road. The train on platform 4 is for Embankment Station. District Line services are not running between Embankment and Whitechapel. Platform 3 is for Edgeware Road, platform 4 is for Embankment. If you are still on this platform after these trains leave, you are lost and confused and need to find a member of staff.

Earl's Court Station