Train

Former Kindergarten Teachers Make Quite Efficient Hobos

Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man

When Rappers Moonlight.

Train driver: This train is being taken out of service. Brigham Circle will be the last stop for this train. Don't hate the player, hate the game!

E Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: camille

I’m So Sneaking into the Men’s Locker Room!

Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!

http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/2006/02/when-in-rome-do-as-romans-do.html

Some S'more Than Others

Handsome guy: He's always speaking in code, like “my son's so flaming he could toast a marshmallow,” or “my son's so flaming he has toasted a marshmallow,” which I don't really get, because everyone toasts marshmallows.

MetroNorth Train
Connecticut

On the Plus Side, We've Finally Found a Decent Place for Our Slip-n-Slide

Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!

Train
Aberdeen
Scotland

Seriously, What Makes People Think That?

Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!

Red Line Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Lucy and Ethel Have a Serious Falling-out

Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That’s the problem, I can’t just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something… We’ll have to find another way.

Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Now Explain Why You're Defecating on That Statue

Boyfriend on train: I always wanted to be a pigeon.
Incredulous girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Oh shit, I just thought that out loud.

Melbourne
Australia

Also, I'm Having Company Tonight, So You'll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

And What Language Are They Speaking?

Seven-year-old boy, stepping off train, to parents: We're in the middle of nowhere!

Train Platform
Maplewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: KBN

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