T conductor, over loudspeaker: Sir! The world is not your toilet!
Park St. Station
Boston, Massachusetts
T conductor, over loudspeaker: Sir! The world is not your toilet!
Park St. Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”
Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Teen girl: Being around you makes me want to talk about my bowel movements.
La Capilla
Torrance, California
Overheard by: J-dawg.
20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like “grandma!”
Maxwell’s
Cedarburg, Wisconsin
Overheard by: and i was like, what?!
Stats professor explaining problem: And that comes out to be 13.58 when we hire monkeys to plug in the values on our calculators…[more quietly] I really do love monkeys you know…
Barnum Hall, Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Sad suit: I got my blackberry wet last night, and now it randomly calls rabbi Goldstein.
Los Angeles, California
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since…
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
Scruffy ponytail dude on cell: Is the dog oozing or pulsing? Tell your brother to stop squeezing the guinea pig, I can hear it squealing! (pause) Yes I can! Yes I can, Ruth*! (pause) Oh, sorry, I guess grandma sneezing does sound like the guinea pig… Just wrap the dog in a towel and I'll be home in an hour.
Tampa, Florida
Girl #1: I just got a betta fish.
Girl #2, way too excited: Oh my gosh, I have one of those! You should bring yours over for a play-date!
Bellingham, Washington
