Weirdness

One of three bros, ordering a cake: And could you make it say, “Sorry we stole your car”?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/473032303/a-bottle-of-grey-goose-will-work-so-much-better.html

Overheard by: cake fixes all problems.

Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Turtle

Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn!

Michigan

Best Shakespeare professor ever: I love metaphors. Metaphors be with you!

College of St. Rose
Albany, New York

Overheard by: Erin

Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.

Portland, Oregon

Little boy: How 'bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

Metro guy to friend: And in the bathroom, under the sink, we have eye clippers…

Mall
San Diego, California

Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia

Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like “I think there's still a strawberry up there!”

Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina

Overheard by: starch

Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.

Craft Show
San Diego, California