Weirdness

Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.

Point Comfort, Texas

Guy to friend: So she broke her vibrator for the third time?

Mystic Lake Casino
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Teen #1: I stuck my ass in her face and she choked on her broccoli.
(dog coughs)
Teen #2: Your ass is making everyone choke!

Harrison, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Pompous guy: The karmic wrong done to me that day was absorbed by the jacket!

Fremont
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Mickity Mike

20-something girl to friend: Then one day I look around and think: “where did all these penises come from?”

Lee's Diner
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: BoboB

20-something to mother: She's really cute on the rare occasions when she has a tennis ball in her mouth.

Supermarket
Caroline Springs, Victoria
Australia

Professor: You have a special relationship with Aristotle.

Dramatic Lit Class, Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Wish I did

Girl: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do that!
Boy: Honey, I promise it isn't that weird!

University of Virginia

Overheard by: beth

Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.

Portland, Oregon

College student: I may not know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm not doing.

Decatur, Illinois