Teacher: So, what would you like to put on your poster?
Third grade boy: Glitter!
Third grade girl: Gore!
Acting Class
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
English professor: Now don't think you're going to be just one big solid bloc of female voting energy because I won't stand for that.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Blonde: I don't ever want to be a baby thrower, but I can't wait to be a baby catcher!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Professor: Someone is going to take their pee and throw it at you. Yes. It is going to happen.
Parkside, Wisconsin
Girl to another standing outside business office: So did you smack her titties?
College Building
Wisconsin
Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…
Milwaukee County Zoo
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Not a penguin racist
Woman to friends holding books: I finally told him, “I don't care if your father dies tonight–I am not missing book club!”
Coffee Shop
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: a coffee gal
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat–no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm…
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Strange, awkward tall guy, putting down a math magazine: I noticed that you didn't finish your pretzel cheese.
Girl across the table doing homework (mystified): No, I guess I didn't.
Strange, awkward tall guy: I was going to ask for it, but then I realized I don't have anything to dip in it.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: It was a small pretzel
