Words

Guy #1, walking into beer garden: What does “drunk in public” mean exactly?
Guy #2: I think it's kind of self-explanatory.

Columbia, Missouri

Spoiled overtanned blonde: Oh my god, my ex just texted me to go fucking die. How do you spell “psycho?”

Philadelphia, Pennsyvania

Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”

Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California

Overheard by: CINDI

Physics professor: First we’ll put it in the A hole and then we’ll put it in the other hole.

Allegheny College
Pennsylvania

Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.”
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?

Glasgow
Scotland

Overheard by: somedaftlassie

Trendy girl: I can barely find the energy to ambulate!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/07/someones-sat-classes-didnt-pay-off.html

Overheard by: try walking

Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!

Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Dawn

Little girl, about sleeping baby sister: Him is sleeping? Him is sleeping?!
Mom, exasperated: No! Her is sleeping!

Kansas

Too hip 20-something: But you have to also create an environment where epic things can transpire…

Walzwerk Restaurant
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: glamour-geek

Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.

Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee