Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Posted on January 25, 2022
Bathing, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Not Even Doggy-Style?

Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.

New York City
New York

Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…

Posted on January 19, 2022
Animals, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys, New York, Sex, Words

And Just a Heads Up That Your Grades Will All Suck

Professor: We are going to talk about tea rooms. Which involve no tea. Unless by “tea,” you mean “cock.”

Columbus,Ohio

Overheard by: Em

Posted on January 14, 2022
Education, Food, Ohio, Penis, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

The One with Big, Glossy Pictures Instead of Words

Man to store employee: It's one of those real estate investment books, the yellow ones.
Employee: Let's see, follow me… Is this what you were looking for?
Man: No, no, that's the one for idiots, I want the one for dummies.

Barnes & Noble
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on January 13, 2022
California, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Stores, Words

With the Possible Exception of the Dominant Chord

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Posted on January 7, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Gender issues, Girls, Gripes, Music, New York, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vagina, Words

Just Not During School Hours, Please.

Chemistry professor to student who recognized a sketch of the periodic table on whiteboard: You understand my art.
Student: I feel you, Mr K.
Chemistry professor: That is indeed true.

St Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: MAC

Posted on January 6, 2022
Minnesota, Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

Her Case Made It to the Supreme Court.

Woman, passing We Will Rock You theater: I mean, how can they *guarantee* to blow your mind?

Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on December 29, 2021
Canadia, Default, Questions, Sensory experiences, Women, Words

You’ll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete

Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings