Middle-aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that's what you mean.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/430097826/it-might-work.html
Overheard by: that might be just as effective
Happy little boy touching everything: Bacteria! Bacteria! Bacteria!
Post Office
Hammond, Louisiana
Second year student: So, what do you do when your potential client is not being straight with you?
Professor: If you can’t get at them frontally, get at them sideways.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: bootstraps
Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
Handsome guy: He's always speaking in code, like “my son's so flaming he could toast a marshmallow,” or “my son's so flaming he has toasted a marshmallow,” which I don't really get, because everyone toasts marshmallows.
MetroNorth Train
Connecticut
Little kid #1: No, Daddy would never swear!
Little kid #2: Yeah, he does — when he drinks!
Dairy Queen
Roseau, Minnesota
Overheard by: jo
Big burly man, earnestly: So then he said, “my wife is in labor,” but I didn't exactly know what that meant.
English man, in disbelief: What? What did you think it meant?
Big burly man: I dunno… Um, like, just pregnant?
English man: So what did you say?
Big burly man: I just said, “yeah, that sucks for you.”
English man: Wow, he must have thought you were a real asshole.
Big burly man: Haha, yeah. And then she had the baby in the apartment.
(long pause)
Big burly man: So, anyway, now the building's hot water's not working.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!
Michigan State University
Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.
Library
Arizona State University
High school girl #1: I hate how everyone judges you based on your grades.
High school girl #2: What?
High school girl #3: Well, okay. By “everyone,” I mean Asians.
Walter Johnson High School
Maryland
