Girl #1: What’s Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn’t it like, you know, science?
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Dave
Girlfriend, holding up scrapbook thing: Do you like this?
Boyfriend: Yeah, it's nice.
Girlfriend: “It's nice,” because it's nice, or “it's nice,” so we can get the fuck out of here?
JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: baker98391
Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.
Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hobo
Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!
Target
New Jersey
Overheard by: Jo
English teacher: Can anyone tell me what the definition of a simile is?
Student: Like your ass…
English teacher: What did you say!?
Student: Like or as?
English teacher: Oh…yeah.
St. Joesph High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Davel
Librarian: Watcha doin'?
High school girl: Studying.
Librarian: Nerd.
Bellingham, Washington
20-something guy to another: He found Jesus. In the two months I hadn't seen him, the motherfucker found Jesus.
Swinger's
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kristin
Catechism teacher: Where's Eric today?
Eric's friend: Eric's at the hospital with his mom.
Catechism teacher, concerned: Why?
Eric's friend: Cuz she has a tombstone, or something like that.
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Betsy
Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too
