AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”
Northport, Long Island
New York
AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”
Northport, Long Island
New York
Teen girl, yelling at computer screen: Oh, you willy shiver!
Totara Park
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Daughter, about cousin: Does he want to give me a ride?
Dad: No, he wants you to ride him.
North Canton, Ohio
Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.
College
Missouri
Overheard by: rami
Pilot, during severely delayed flight: This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I'm thinking of all of you.
Runway
Miami International Airport, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
Husband: Yeah, I think that's because of the…the…
Wife: The what? Spit it out!
Husband: I know, I've been having so much trouble lately coming up with the appropriate word for what I'm trying to say.
Wife: Yeah, that's your problem. You just need to be able to think of what you need to say in advance so you can articulize it.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: King Dubby
Guy: It'll make more sense once you figure it out.
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Midshipman: It's midgets, sir.
Skeptical lieutenant: Is it like albino midgets or something?
Midshipman: No, sir, regular midgets.
Skeptical lieutenant: Oh well…okay, then.
NROTC Classroom
Atlanta, Georgia
Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.
American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
Girl #1, looking at group of guys hanging out on the corner: They look like skinheads!
Girl #2: They're black.
Claremont, California
