I Guess I Was Absent the Day They Taught That in School

Girl #1: It's like that old saying: abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Girl #2: What?! Abstinence?
Girl #1: You've never heard that? It's like when you don't get any for a while, and then you do, and it's really good? You know, makes you love 'em more.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: it's one in the same

Posted on January 1, 2010
Advice, Feelings, Girls, Mississippi, Questions, Virginity

I Assume Everyone's Seen Independence Day?

Conductor, at the end of introductory speech: And, ladies and gentlemen, in the event of an emergency… you all know what to do.

Train
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on December 16, 2009
Advice, Conductors, Missouri, Public transportation, Train

It'll Keep Your Mother-in-Law Amused for Hours

Woman: Well, they tie the sheep up to a stake and use it as bait.
Man: Really?
Woman: Yeah, just tie it on up and you're set…

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Bait for what?

Posted on December 9, 2009
Advice, Animals, California, Friends

…Even Though It Sounds Like It Could Be a Muslim Name.

Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.

O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: NeededSome

Posted on November 20, 2009
Advice, Airports & flights, Flight attendants, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Public transportation

…As All the Tour Books Will Tell You.

Guy on cell: If you're serious about jumping, you go to the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're really not, go to the Bay Bridge.

San Mateo, California

Overheard by: Technetium

Posted on November 18, 2009
Advice, California, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Guys, On the phone

In Alabama It's Kind Of Hard to Tell

Older woman #1: I really need to get my flu shot this week.
Older woman #2: I got mine last week.
Older woman #3: Ya'll better watch out getting those flu shots, haven't you heard that vaccines cause autism?

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on November 6, 2009
Advice, Alabama, Health & Hygiene, Maladies, Mental illnesses, Old folks, Stupidity, Women

This Lecture Would Be Protected Under Attorney-Client Privilege

Professor: In a year or two, you're going to graduate and have to face the hard decision about what to do with your life. Some of you will be lawyers, some of you will be engineers, and some of you will opt for a life of crime. When you do, and you get caught, roll over on the person you're caught with, and ask for absolute immunity. I hope you don't choose a life of crime, but if you do, at least be smart about it.

Pre-law Class
USC

Posted on October 25, 2009
Advice, California, Colleges & Universities, Crimes, Education, Jobs & Careers, Teachers

But I Draw the Line at Moving to Seattle

White cube farmer to another: Chicks don't like dudes with umbrellas. They like wild and crazy guys who aren't afraid of getting their hair wet.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/305658355/actually-this-is-true.html

Overheard by: alexis

Posted on October 16, 2009
Advice, Compare and contrast, Gender issues, Hair, Overheard in Minneapolis, Stupidity, Whiteys

I Promised My Mom

Girl with friends walking by my door: No, no… sixteen! Sixteen is the age to get pregnant.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/269132103/only-if-youre-trapping-someone-into-marriage.html

Overheard by: Did I miss something?

Posted on October 1, 2009
Advice, Age and ageing, Friends, Girls, Overheard in Minneapolis, Pregnancy, Stupidity

Next Thing You Know, You've Blogged Yourself 5-10 With Good Behavior

Big, sweaty man: No, you need to stay offa that Facebook, offa that MySpace, because when they need evidence, that's where they look first.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: slightly suspicious

Posted on September 10, 2009
Advice, Crimes, Guys, Internet, MySpace, Ohio

Advice