Advice

Upset girl to friend: Everything's not the way it should be, it's all wrong. I fail at life.
Friend: Oh, no, you don't fail at life! This is just one of those little things you will fix, along with other things you will fix, and in the end, you'll end up with a pile of little fixed things.

Christchurch
New Zealand

Overheard by: Julia

Nursing lab instructor: You don't go down when you're suctioning.

College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Yoshi

Guy: Trust me, I'm a gay scientist!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Dad to eight-year-old son: Well, stop giving people wedgies and they'll stop throwing rocks at you.

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Christina M.

Posh-sounding, punk-looking 20-year-old girl on cell: You want to kill yourself? Oh. Have you tried having a having cup of tea?

London
England

Overheard by: Richard

Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Very tall boy on Taipei subway: You don't need to diet, you need to grow taller.
Very short girl: I would if I could.
Very tall boy: Do you want to go to the concert?
Very short girl: I don't go to concerts.
Very tall boy: Why not?
Very short girl: I can never see anything.

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#7600786429606406051

Overheard by: Yugan Dali

Woman to friend: That would never happen. Not even in a fairytale you wrote your goddamn self would that happen.

Buffalo, New York

Girl: My stomach hurts…
Guy: Maybe you should stop having so much butt sex.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia