Age and ageing

There Was an Unfortunate Incident With Jeffrey at Toys Я Us

Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant

If They’ve Been Naughty, Santa Brings Them Small Penises.

Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

By 35, She Was Already Set in Her Ways

Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.

Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Greeg

I Told Him There'd Be Repercussions If He Put Another Cheerio Up His Nose

Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

On the Plus Side, If People Think You're 16, You Totally Have a Future in Barely-Legal Porn!

Young woman #1: And I was like, “No, dude who's two years older than me, I'm not 16. Nice mandals.”
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I'm really sorry.

Nail Salon
Napa, California

Here, Try This Adorable Thong.

Mother to child in the girl's clothing aisle: No, you're not wearing a padded bra; you're six!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/438564746/all-the-more-reason-she-needs-one.html

Overheard by: me

Then the Wii Had to Come Along and Confuse Everything

Woman on phone: Yeah, well, as you get older, it's less manual labor and more electronics!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/426880740/we-get-tired-faster.html

Overheard by: am I taking this the wrong way?

Grandma Does Have Her Own Fragrance Line

Sentimental girl, about her grandmother: She went all loopy last time!
Comforting friend: No, I am sure she'll be alright.
Sentimental girl: Last time she thought she lived with David Beckham!

East London
England

Overheard by: Luna

I'd Hoped to Outgrow My Vanity, Too

80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true… I just didn't want to bring my cane.

Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped

…Brian.

Mother of musical theater fan: Oh, I didn't know Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote that. Well, maybe I did, but you weren't my daughter then.

Canadia

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