Age and ageing

Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/just-reminder-that-football-season.html

Overheard by: Ian

Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!

Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas

Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: gymbo

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California

Overheard by: Claustrophobic

Student: There's no child out there that's like, “you know what I want today, I want to have sex with a forty-year-old man, that's what I'm really craving today.”

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Wannabe cowboy on cell: Dude, I gotta tell you about my STD from the silent film era! (long pause) Okay, ready? Okay: I made out with a chick who was 52 years old!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363455312/chick.html

Overheard by: hope she had a charlie chaplin mustache

Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha…you're charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I've heard.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can't be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She's five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she'll barely be a person.

Fairfield, Connecticut

Woman, exiting coffee shop: He's like ten years old, but he's aged really well…

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Minivet

Seven-year-old little boy staring at a little old lady with white hair: You’re going to die!

Hilander
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Koosa