Age and ageing

College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What's with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she's like six.
College guy: Yeah… I just realized that.

UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren't you ever white?

Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey

Overheard by: Siberia

Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?

National Archives
Washington, DC

Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?

Greenfield, Massachusetts

Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”

Mississippi College School of Law

Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It's very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I'm in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that'll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I'm 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I'm 18. Well…I mean, I'm 23.

Shreveport, Louisiana

Overheard by: Elle

16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don't wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I'm like “no bitch, I don't even have a license yet.” We're thinking after I turn 18.

Los Angeles, California

Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.

McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland

Guy behind deli counter: Does anyone need any help?
Old man #1: What about psychiatric help?
Old man #2: Are you giving or receiving?
Old man #1: I'm on the receiving end of everything. Except taxes!

Gene's Fine Foods
Saratoga, California