Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”
Mississippi College School of Law
Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It's very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I'm in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that'll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I'm 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I'm 18. Well…I mean, I'm 23.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Overheard by: Elle
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don't wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I'm like “no bitch, I don't even have a license yet.” We're thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
Guy behind deli counter: Does anyone need any help?
Old man #1: What about psychiatric help?
Old man #2: Are you giving or receiving?
Old man #1: I'm on the receiving end of everything. Except taxes!
Gene's Fine Foods
Saratoga, California
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren't Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren't we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill's her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren't related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist's.
Bus driver: What's wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I'm 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you're going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won't do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they'll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You're an old boar, but I'm just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
