Age and ageing

Girl#1: I mean, my parents have no money now. Dad lost it in his “snort” phase.
Girl#2: My mom had that phase, but now she’s just into the “prescription” phase.
Girl#3: That’s a great phase.

Banana Republic
Kitchener
Canada

Five-year-old boy: How old are you?
Tutor: Twenty.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, well, do you know how to make a monkey?

Dallas, Texas

70-something woman to 80-something woman: Oh hello, so you’re still alive?!

Wloclawek
Poland

Overheard by: renia

Fat kid: Mom, I wanna go on a diet.
Fat mom: You don’t need to go on a diet, you’re too young!
Fat kid: You aren’t too young.
Fat mom: Shush.

Meat Section at Publix
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Trevor Allen

Guy: Dude, I’m totally getting sexiled by my pre-frosh tonight.

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Blue Devils

Woman: Wood is like money to old people.

Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee

Overheard by: FACT.

Six-year-old girl to six-year old boy: Do you want to get a coffee?

Barnes & Noble
Plainfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Tdcompton

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Prof, to guy whose ringtone is “Don't Stop Believing”: Aren't you a little young to like that song?

Princeton University
New Jersey

Fat female student: I'm thirty-eight years old with a criminal justice degree, and I still can't find nothin' to do in this valley. Nobody's hirin', nothin'.
Skinny female student: Couldn't you just be a cop?
Fat female student: I can't be a cop. They give me a badge an' a gun, I'd be shootin' at fags and wetbacks. I mean, in this day in age… Not to be rude or anything…

Bookstore
West Virginia University