We'd Hate to Hear Him in Bed

Pilot over intercom after rough landing: Whooaa, Nessie! (makes galloping sound) Easy, girl! (makes baaing sound) Whoops, wrong animal.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: kayla

What?

Professor, about megafauna: I would love to have a giant beaver.

GWU Archaeology lecture
Washington, DC

Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Leather-clad guy to another: I’ll lend you my iguana. It’ll save you money.

Sheffield
England

Overheard by: chris

Professor: I want to please you… Not with goats, but with sentences.

Greek Class
UCLA, California

Overheard by: shepherd

Boy to friend: I'm totally capable of giving birth to a live teddy bear.

High School
Clarksville, Maryland

Girl standing at the bar: I train armadillos to race horses around banks.

Killarney's
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation…

Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!

Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England

Mom: No! Don't walk on that! (kid continues to walk on grass) I hope you step in dog shit.

Capitol Hill
Washington, DC

Overheard by: christa

Sexy baseball coach: I was shooting pheasants, naked, in Boise, Idaho.

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Saywhat?!