Animals

Sentence Fragments Baaaad!

Professor: I want to please you… Not with goats, but with sentences.

Greek Class
UCLA, California

Overheard by: shepherd

Posted on October 9, 2020
Animals, California, Class, Colleges & Universities, Education, Teachers, Weirdness

As I Learned at the Birth-a-Bear Workshop

Boy to friend: I'm totally capable of giving birth to a live teddy bear.

High School
Clarksville, Maryland

Posted on September 16, 2020
Animals, Friends, Maryland, Offspring, Weirdness

I'm Working My Way Up to Toads Racing Camels Around Post Offices

Girl standing at the bar: I train armadillos to race horses around banks.

Killarney's
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation…

Posted on September 11, 2020
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, New Jersey, Weirdness

Nine Months Later, I Had You.

Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!

Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England

Posted on September 9, 2020
Animals, England, Food, Students, Weirdness

Or Anthrax

Mom: No! Don't walk on that! (kid continues to walk on grass) I hope you step in dog shit.

Capitol Hill
Washington, DC

Overheard by: christa

Posted on August 28, 2020
Animals, Default, Moms, Offers and requests, Poop, Washington, DC, Wishes

…the Last Time I Was Truly Happy.

Sexy baseball coach: I was shooting pheasants, naked, in Boise, Idaho.

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Saywhat?!

Posted on August 23, 2020
Animals, Leisure, South Carolina, Teachers, Weirdness

…And He Let Me Touch His Mallard?

Girl: Hey, what about that time we went duck hunting naked and…
Random passerby: That sounds like fun!

Georgetown
Washington, DC

Posted on August 9, 2020
Animals, Body parts, Default, Girls, Memory lane, Sex, Strangers, Washington, DC

Wolf Titties Are Hot This Year

Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!

Starbucks
Hollywood, California

Posted on August 3, 2020
Animals, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Nipples, Restaurants, Weirdness

Plastic Shoes with Holes in the Tops Make Much More Sense.

Girl #1, sifting through shirts on table: Oh my god, these v-necks are so freaking cute.
Girl #2: Yeah…if this one didn't have sharks on it. If there's one thing I hate is sharks. Who puts sharks on shirts nowadays, anyway?

Urban Outfitters
San Francisco, California

Posted on July 21, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Questions, San Francisco, Stores

Dad's the Other White Meat.

Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her “little sausage,” so she's started calling him “pork sword.”
Girl #2, laughing: That's got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.

Cape Town
South Africa

Posted on July 19, 2020
Africa, Animals, Food, Girls, Names