Or Anthrax

Mom: No! Don't walk on that! (kid continues to walk on grass) I hope you step in dog shit.

Capitol Hill
Washington, DC

Overheard by: christa

Posted on August 28, 2020
Animals, Default, Moms, Offers and requests, Poop, Washington, DC, Wishes

…the Last Time I Was Truly Happy.

Sexy baseball coach: I was shooting pheasants, naked, in Boise, Idaho.

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Saywhat?!

Posted on August 23, 2020
Animals, Leisure, South Carolina, Teachers, Weirdness

…And He Let Me Touch His Mallard?

Girl: Hey, what about that time we went duck hunting naked and…
Random passerby: That sounds like fun!

Georgetown
Washington, DC

Posted on August 9, 2020
Animals, Body parts, Default, Girls, Memory lane, Sex, Strangers, Washington, DC

Wolf Titties Are Hot This Year

Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!

Starbucks
Hollywood, California

Posted on August 3, 2020
Animals, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Nipples, Restaurants, Weirdness

Plastic Shoes with Holes in the Tops Make Much More Sense.

Girl #1, sifting through shirts on table: Oh my god, these v-necks are so freaking cute.
Girl #2: Yeah…if this one didn't have sharks on it. If there's one thing I hate is sharks. Who puts sharks on shirts nowadays, anyway?

Urban Outfitters
San Francisco, California

Posted on July 21, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Questions, San Francisco, Stores

Dad's the Other White Meat.

Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her “little sausage,” so she's started calling him “pork sword.”
Girl #2, laughing: That's got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.

Cape Town
South Africa

Posted on July 19, 2020
Africa, Animals, Food, Girls, Names

And Did They Have to Name It “The Meow Clinic”?

20-something woman #1: Oh look, it's a hospital for cats.
20-something woman #2: Yeah, I know. Every time someone goes in there, I judge them like, “ew, a cat person!”

Brookline, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cat Person

Posted on July 5, 2020
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Women

I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis

Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!

High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: The teacher

Posted on July 4, 2020
Animals, Black people, Compare and contrast, Fat people, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Whiteys

Why Twitter Was Invented

Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.

Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida

Posted on May 26, 2020
Animals, Body parts, Florida, Guys, Poop, Tourist attractions

Did You Just Whinny?

Redhead: If I were a horse, I would totally do this one [points to horse in magazine].
Blonde: If you were a horse, you would do them all.
Redhead: Yeah! There’s the Quarter Horse, the Mustang, the Appaloosa, and the Arabian. Ohhh, the Arabian! [Shivers.]

Raleigh, North Carolina

Posted on May 17, 2020
Animals, Default, Girls, North Carolina, Sex, Wishes

Animals

Wolf Titties Are Hot This Year