Dude: How did I get dog food in my screw hole?
Tucson, Arizona
Scruffy, hurried foreman with clipboard, on Bluetooth: It's the elephants. You've got to dial in the elephants. It's interfering with your microphone!
Financial District
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: PerplexedPachyderm
Drunk girl: I thought the first time I had sex it would be like milking a cow. You know: squirt, squirt, squirt… a little at a time.
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Psych class guy: Dolphins are the second smartest animal.
Psych class girl: What's the smartest?
Psych class guy: Humans.
Psych class girl: Wait, humans are animals?
Psych class guy: Yep.
Psych class girl: Really?
Psych class guy: For real.
Hamilton
Canadia
Overheard by: Jayme
Girlfriend: Would you ever date a playboy bunny?
Boyfriend, after long pause: I feel like this is a trap.
UMass Dorm
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying “porcupine” I thought you meant “turkey.”
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Cashier: I never noticed before, but you look like a meerkat.
Customer: Is that another Pokemon?
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Guy to others: I heard she once open-mouth kissed a horse.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/317235919/pfft-who-hasnt.html
Overheard by: walking down the hall.
Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!
Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts