Girl #1: I love how every time I make a scenario where I'm around Stephen I scream in his face and force him to be sexual with me. Except for that time I rubbed against him in a non-sexual way to cure any illnesses I have.
Girl #2: There was that time you stabbed him in the thigh too.
Girl #1: Really? Why did I do that?
Girl #2: You just wanted to know his dog's name and if he likes pita bread.
Girl #1: Ohhh…yeah.
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amanda
Guy on phone: What's wrong with taking a shower with the cat?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.
Emporia, Kansas
Overheard by: Very Disturbed
Soccer mom #1: I heard once that the reason animals don't live as long as humans is because they come into the world knowing how to love, and we have to learn.
Soccer mom #2: That is so true.
Lee County Humane Society
Auburn, Alabama
Overheard by: Gee
Mom to toddler in stroller: What was your favorite part of the circus?
Toddler in stroller: The elephants pooping!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Dude: Unless you can show me one big titted cat!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Guy: Later. (he affectionately shakes girl by shoulders)
Girl: Wait, did you just shake me like a Golden Retriever after we had a nooner?
Guy: Yeah, that was kind of bad. (hugs her)
Financial District
San Francisco, California
Man getting into car to dog barking wildly: No, you can't come. You have to stay home with mommy!
Westchester County, New York
(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!
Zoo
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Sarah.
Psychology professor, on the topic of conditioning: Well, you can't spank a dolphin!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: really?
