From Then On, Whenever Sally Did Naughty Things, She Blamed Baby Jesus

Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!

California

Posted on October 9, 2022
Animals, California, Customers, Default, Employees, Jesus, Kids, Names, Shopping, Stores

Thankfully the Stupid Seem to Always Die Off First

Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 4, 2022
Animals, Birds, California, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers

People in L.A. Eat?

Guy: I have to use the girls’ room ’cause there is just vomit everywhere in the men’s and a guy, like, dying or something.
Girl: Well, that’s what you get for moving to the East side! Apparently no one vomits at bars on the West side. We here on the East side are all about vomit. It’s, like, totally cool.

Ladies’ room, 4100 Bar, Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Erin

Posted on October 3, 2022
Bragging, California, Friends

Which Is Why I Had You Guys Do Those Practice Drills Earlier

Volunteer director to group of teenage volunteers: Now, ya gotta be careful or the tractor tires will catch on fire.
Teenage volunteers: (incredulous laughter)
Volunteer director: No, seriously! Last year they caught on fire and I totally had to pee on them!

Sonoma County, California

Overheard by: where was I last year?!