Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: Kristen
Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: Kristen
Civil procedure professor: Don't you sometimes think this class would be better if we were all a little inebriated?
Law School
Los Angeles, California
Mom: No, Joshua, put it down.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Put it down this instant, or you are going to be in big trouble, mister.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Drop it!
Five-year-old boy: Dammit, Kathy, I’m tired of your crap!
Target
Walnut Creek, California
Guy: I gave her ball-phobia.
Chino, California
Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.
High School
Los Angeles, California
Guy: I have to use the girls’ room ’cause there is just vomit everywhere in the men’s and a guy, like, dying or something.
Girl: Well, that’s what you get for moving to the East side! Apparently no one vomits at bars on the West side. We here on the East side are all about vomit. It’s, like, totally cool.
Ladies’ room, 4100 Bar, Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Erin
Volunteer director to group of teenage volunteers: Now, ya gotta be careful or the tractor tires will catch on fire.
Teenage volunteers: (incredulous laughter)
Volunteer director: No, seriously! Last year they caught on fire and I totally had to pee on them!
Sonoma County, California
Overheard by: where was I last year?!
Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!
Simi Valley, California
Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don't worry, we have Katie!
Los Angeles, California
