California

Mom: We can’t have ice cream. You just had candy at the movie.
Little girl: Mom, you are such a gutter-skank.
Mom, flabbergasted: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Little girl: Dad.

Capitol Street
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Total Gutterskank

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Safeway
Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

Blonde: I like berries. Kate, you should be a berry.
Kate: That can be arranged.

California

Loudspeaker in airport: Please don't leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn't allowed in the airport?

Airport
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Kristina

Boy to girl: Rape is not a choice.

San Diego, California

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Overheard by: Kristen

Civil procedure professor: Don't you sometimes think this class would be better if we were all a little inebriated?

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Mom: No, Joshua, put it down.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Put it down this instant, or you are going to be in big trouble, mister.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Drop it!
Five-year-old boy: Dammit, Kathy, I’m tired of your crap!

Target
Walnut Creek, California

Guy: I gave her ball-phobia.

Chino, California